The Totally Normal Mortal
by strawberry jam 07
Summary: In which a weird stalker mortal keeps showing up. Who the heck is she! Basically my self insertion fic in which I troll all the characters with no cares at all. Rated for possible language in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**As I am not a middle-aged, savage troll of a man named Rick, I think it's safe to say that I do not own anything except myself.**

Percy Jackson was having a bad day. It was only a week after the Battle of Manhattan and already his life was in danger.

Now this time it was different. It wasn't a titan or something like a Minotaur, it was another hellhound. Of course.

He had dropped Riptide earlier, and it hadn't reappeared in his pocket yet, so the thing to do was simple- run.

Currently, he was stopping a breath once he was out of sight of the giant dog, when a voice to the left said-

"Man, you must be having a terrible day."

Whipping his head to the side, Percy saw a girl in retro track sweatpants and a blue shirt with a grey hoodie. Her hair was a brown tussled pixie cut, and she was reading a book, though he couldn't read the title.

"Uh… yeah, you could say that." He replied, not knowing what this girl was.

"You wanna talk about it?" she said, putting down the book and revealing brown eyes, like a cow's.

"No thanks."

"Well, I want to talk, godsdammit!" she exclaimed.

Percy stepped back, noticing the way she said god _s,_ plural.

"What are you?" he asked, reaching for Riptide to discover it had reappeared. He pulled it out and held the girl at it's point.

"Geez, man, clam down. Put down your magic pen." the girl said, raising her hands in defense.

"What are you?!" Percy said once more, unnerved by the cow-eyed girl's wording and randomness.

"I'm a person, you idiot. Stop being a buttmunch and put the sword down."

"If you're a person, how can you see the sword?"

"Is it really that much of a surprise, I mean, Rachel can see it, can't she?"

"How do you know Rachel?"

"Look, I just came here to have a nice chat with one of my favorite people in the narrative, but if I'm going to get interrogated I'll just head home and read."

The girl started to walk away. Percy blinked and she was gone.

He looked down, and saw a note. Picking it up, he saw it was written in Ancient Greek.

 _Next time I show up, maybe be nice. I can really help you. –Stevie_

 **Thank you for reading the first chapter of my self-insert fic. Basically I'm just going to troll everyone in any Rick Riordan book. Where do you want me to show up next?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heyyyy! This is kinda short but hey, I'm only human. Or am I…**

 **Anyway this is the best I could do. I have homework and stuff so…**

 **I own nothing. Except for myself.**

Annabeth walked through the streets of New Jersey with her friends, Thalia and Luke. Well, she says friends. They were more like her family. Ever since they picked her up in an alleyway in Virginia they had kept her safe from all the monsters that chased them around.

Once they were in the woods and out of view of anything normal, Luke and Thalia set Annabeth down beneath a tree with all of their stuff. They walked away to find food, leaving the blonde seven year old to amuse herself with whatever she could find nearby.

"You look really tan in that knife."

Annabeth jumped away, turning to see a girl with brown eyes and short, messy, brown hair. She didn't look all that threatening, with her grey hoodie and jean shorts, but Annabeth knew better than to trust a stranger in the woods.

"G-go away!" she shouted, hoping Luke and Thalia would hear her.

"Hey, clam down, I'm not going to hurt you." The girl raised her hands in a sign of surrender. "I don't got any weapons on me. Not that I need them anyway…"

"Stop!" Luke yelled, brandishing his knife **(?)** as he came out of the bushes. Thalia closely followed, holding out Aegis. Unlike most monsters, the girl was not affected by the hideous face on Thalia's shield.

"Cool your boots, children. Chill out." Said the girl.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Thalia demanded, raising her shield and grabbing Annabeth.

The girl sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as if the three demigods annoyed her.

"Fine, let's start over. I am Stevie. And you are Annabeth, Luke, and Thalia."

Luke narrowed his eyes.

"Have you been following us?"

"Haha, no. But I have been following your story. So I know somewhat of what you've been through, but I haven't been following you. I'm not a creepy stalker or something like that. Well…"

"What are you, if you're not a monster?" Annabeth asked, stepping out from behind Thalia's legs.

"I'm a normal mortal. Well, not normal… wait, you can't know anything. Yeah, I'm a totally normal mortal!"

"Then how do you know us?"

Stevie disregarded their questions.

"I'm not really s'posed to be interfering, but when have rules ever stopped me. Anywho, I best be getting back. Wouldn't want to stall you in your quest. Here some money, home slice." Stevie said, tossing Luke a wad of cash. They stared at it. This would buy them food and clothes for a month!

"Uh… thank you?"

"You're welcome. I gotta go, but see ya later. If I ever show up again, it'd best if you gave me a warm welcome, unlike some kelp-headed buttmunches I know." Stevie muttered the last part, but the other still heard it. "Okay bye!"

Stevie walked behind a tree and vanished.

 **Second chapter! Yeah! Again, PM me or review if you have somewhere specific you want me to show up or something you want me to do. Until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry about the wait, I had this terrible thing known to many as school. I also have my show choir auditions to worry about. This chapter has a sort-of plot and emotion! I think.**

 **I own nothing at all. Well, I'm pretty sure I own myself…**

It was two months after the war. Annabeth, Percy, and Grover, walked through the woods at camp, talking and laughing, when suddenly Grover stopped.

"I smell someone nearby." He said, sniffing the air. "I'm not sure who it is."

"Is it a monster?" Annabeth asked, drawing her knife.

"No… it smells almost… mortal? But… strange."

Percy uncapped Riptide, and together they inched forward until…

"Hey guys, remember me?"

They all turned around, and saw a girl around their age with jean shorts, flip flops, a NASA tank top, and a grey hoodie tied around her waist. Her hair was messy, short, and a deep brown that matched her eyes. She grinned widely, leaning against a tree.

"You're that strange mortal I met a few months ago!" Percy exclaimed, raising his sword.

"Awww, so you do remember me!" the girl, who Percy remembered was named Stevie, squealed.

"Why are you following me?"

Stevie walked towards them, her hands in her pockets.

"Don't give yourself _too_ much credit. I haven't just been following _you_. Not that I've been following anyone. At all. In fact, I'm breaking a few rules just by talking to you."

"Rules?" Grover asked, looking confused.

"Yes, Grover Underwood, even I am confined by strict laws governing my existence on this earth. Not that I follow them. And not that anyone really cares. Now, it's clear that Aqualad over here recognizes me, but what about you Ms. Know-It-All?"

Annabeth narrowed her eyes.

"We've never met… have we?"

"Aww… come on, home slice, I helped you on your journey to Camp Half-Blood. You get any tanner in that knife?"

Annabeth's eyes widened in realization.

"You… you're Stevie, the mortal who gave us money. And you showed up again too… just a week before Grover showed up, wasn't it? You always called us home slice."

"She speaks the truth, dear satyr and water boi. I am Stevie. You can put your sword away, Perseus."

Percy did not lower his sword.

"Annabeth, tell your boyfriend to lower the lethal ballpoint pen, please?" Stevie turned her cow-eyed gaze to the daughter of Athena, who was still staring at the mortal with a mix of anger and sadness.

"You…" she said quietly. "You said you were looking out for us. How could you let Thalia die?"

Stevie looked taken aback. She opened her mouth to speak, but Annabeth cut her off.

"How could you let her die, when you promised you would help us? You could have stopped the monsters."

Stevie was quiet for a long while, and Percy and Grover drank this information in. Grover was confused. Someone else had found those three before he did? And had helped them like he did? How? Who was she?

"Look, Annabeth, I'm so sorry… I can't change things. No matter how much I want to, that's the one rule I have to follow in order to stay here. I would have stopped them if I could but… I can't change the narrative. Everything has to go as planned."

"What rules?" Grover asked. "What narrative? What are you talking about?"

"I-I should go. See you guys another time."

"Wait!" Percy reached out to grab Stevie, but she had already dived behind a bush. She vanished, like she was never there, leaving the trio standing in the woods, trying to process what had happened.

 **Heyyyy! How** **is everyone? Good, good. Now LISTEN UP. I have something VERY IMPORTANT and VITAL TO THE FUTURE OF THIS STORY to tell you about. On my profile, there is a poll. What you vote will decide what direction this story is going in, okay? It is important to get your feedback so that the majority of people who read this crazy fic get what they want out of it. And while you're there, you cna read my profile to find out a bit more about me... So that's that, hope you have a good day.**


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